The Well-fit Uniform
by Mrs.XXXXXX
Summary: One-Shot! Fem!Bones has a bit of an issue with her uniform. Fem!Bones/Scotty for the win! Mostly Humor vs. Romance K Because Sassy Bones is Sassy


Hello all! Sorry i've been away...Haven't been in the writing spirit for quite a while. I'm going to try doing some one-shots untill I get bitten by the writing bug again. BTW all one-shots will be prompts i find while on tmblr, , ect. Here we go! You're also welcome to leave prompts for me to attempt!

Personal Prompt #1: Fem!Bones and the not-fitting uniform

"Oh lord, not again." was known to the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise as many things... A friend, a doctor, a sister, even a mother to some of the younder members of the crew. "What is so damn hard about getting the right size uniform?" She also, unfortunately, was known as the hot-blooded southerner whom Captain James T. Kirk had to devote half of his time to keeping her under control. Currently she was having some trouble doing that herself. Once again, after running into another life-threatening situation with her "hare-brained" captain, her uniform was all but destroyed. This of course resulted in her havig t order a new one. And once again...they got the size wrong, meaning that untill she recived a uniform of the proper size, when not in her sickbay scrubs, she'd have to walk around looking like a floosy with her too-short shorts and micro-mini dress uniform.

 _Bridge to McCoy...Come in McCoy_

"This is McCoy," She said, barely contaning her annoyance with her uniform. "What's up Jim?"

"Bones, would you do me a favor and come up to the bridge?"

"Jim, this isn't really a good time-"

"Come on Bones. It's just a quick thing and then I'll send you off to sickbay to deal with whatever paperwork you're going to tell me that you need to do."

"I'm on my way Jim." She sighed.

"I'll see you in a bit. Kirk out." She could practically hear his sumg grin throught the com.

"Oh well..." Bones went to look at herself in the mirror in her old-fashioned vanity. "It's not like this is the first time this has happened." She took a deep breath before opening her door...and peeking out of it both ways like any other self-respecting woman would do while looking like an "expensive hooker". Deeming it safe to leave her room, she took a few hesitant steps away from her door...and calmly rushed to the doors of the nearest turbo-lift. She waited for it and took a moment to let herself think. _At least there was no one on this floor to-_ Just as she was finishing her thought, the turbo lift opened to a herd of injured male red-shirts ready to get themselves checked into sickbay only to instead see their CMO dressed in a uniform at least 2 sizes too small.

"Whoa...Dr. McCoy?" Mister Justin, known to the female officers aboard the Enterprise as Mister "Just-in Case", took a good look up and down her body as she felt herself blush unwillingly under in unwanted gaze.

"What is it Mr. Justin?" She said getting annoyed with both his staring and her blushing.

"Um...There was an explosion in engineering's lower decks." His eyes kept roaming over her. Not that she wasn't used to it, but she still didn't appreciate it.

"Yes! Well ya'll get'cha tail feathers down to sick bay!" She shouted at them as she pushed them one by one out of the turbo-lift. "I'll be back here in a mintue! And Justin! Keep ya' eyes to ya' self!" She shouted out of the closing doors. She managed to turn the handle on the wall and get herself on the way to the brige before the turbolift's com went off.

 _Bridge to McCoy...Come in-_

"I'm here Jim." She sighed with a notable southern accent. "I'm sorry it's a'takin' so long fo' me ta' get up there. I had a bit of a time gettin' in the lift."

"You okay Bones?" At hearing the concern in his voice, she reigned in her emotions.

"I'm fine Jim and i'm on my way."

"Kirk out." As she waited for the turbolift to take her to the bridge she took a deep breath and once again attempted to gather her thoughts. Of course it was rather hard to take a deep breath when your breasts were doing a fine job of crushing your lungs. _When momma talked about bein' well endowned, i don't think that this was what she meant._ Whilst in her thoughts about the width of her hips versus the length of coverage given by the uniform, she didn't even notice the turbolift stop to pick up another passanger.

"Oh, hello Dr..." A thick scottish accent brought her out of her thoughts.

"Mister Scott!" She said...maybe a bit louder than necicarry. Not that Scott really noticed as he couldn't help but notice her uniform. "Um...I didn't here you come in." She gave herself a mental facepalm and occupided herself with looking at the walls of the turbolift.

"Ehem...You're uniform...again?" Said Mr. Scott, also making deep eye contact with the wall.

"Yes...this is the third-"

"Fourth." Scott interuppted.

"Ah...yeah...fourth." _Why is the turbolift runing so slow..._ She thought to herself. She found herself sneeking quick peeks at the scottish engineer, taking a few sneak peaks at her. Only known to a few members of the Starship Enterprise, the good doctor had a bit of an attraction to the Scottish engineer. Not that the attraction was ever once sided, it was just that moments like this...Her standing next to him in an outfit that would turn more heads than not...Makes for awkward conversation. Fortunately for the both of them the turbolift doors opened up to the bridge.

"Thank God" They said simontaniously stepping out of the lift.

"Ah, there you are Bo-" The Captain turned in his chair to a blushing Dr. Loretta Bones McCoy wearing a "well-fitting" uniform. "So it's the uniform again, huh Bones?" He asked, unable to keep himself from letting a out a small chuckle.

"Not a word Captain. Not...a...word." Whilst pointing a chipped finger nail at the captain, a voice came from behind the Captain's chair.

"So this is your Chief Medical Officer." A gentleman from the planet that the crew just finished escaping from appeared from behind Jim's chair. "You are Dr. McCoy?"He turned to the Captain. "I thought you said she was well respected." For a moment there, Bones found herself speechless. And then...she became very...angry...

"Now you look here a damn minute! I don't think you know who I am! My name is Loretta Hailey McCoy and I am the Chief Medical Officer aboard this starship! Now you jus' might be wonderin' why the uniform i'm a'wearin' don't fit quite right?! Well I'll go on an' tell ya why! My original uniform was destroyed back on that plant you home whilst I was tryin' ta' get my Cap'n an' his firs' officer back aboared this ship! Now because my uniform was completley decimated!" She turned towards Jim. "And don't think I'll forget 'bout how you told me that they would get my size right this time! This is the third-"

"Fourth."

"Yes! Thank ya' Scotty! Fourth time this has happened, and I don't rightly recall wantin' to repeat the situation afta' the firs' time it happened!" And back to the other gentleman. "So when you git finshed basing me and an' my level of respect from my clothin' I'll be in my room!" And with that, she stomped into the turbolift and made her way to her room.

"Mister Spock, you have the com. I be right back." Kirk stepped into the turbolift and made his way to Dr. McCoy's room. "Dr. McCoy." No answer from inside the room. "Bones?" He tried again, hoping the use of her nickname would get a response out of her. Still no answer. "Come on...open the door Loretta..." Still no response. "Loretta Haily Mc-

"Don't you dare finish that sentence Jim." The door slid open to reveal a slightly annoyed McCoy again pointing a finger at Jim. "...And...I'm sorry." She moved out of the doorway to let him pass through. "It was wrong of me to act as I did...I, usually don't have so much trouble with keeping my temper. I-I just couldn't take what he said after looking at me the way he did."

"It's alright Bones." He grabbed her by the shoulders and sat her down. "You've done a good job up untill now, what with everything that has been happening lately. I don't beleive that the uniform is all you should be upset about."

"I should be upset about?"

"Yes. First off, once again i drag you out of sick bay to come down with me to the planet surface using the transporter, which I know you don't like. Secondly, i managed, single-handedly I might add, to get us captured by the terrorists that we were suppposed to rid the planet of. I, of course manage to get myself hurt and worry you, as you say, 'half-to-death'. Then once our daring first officer manages to get us free, we get arrested by the people of Proditor for arresting without a permit. Once arrested, the head of the jail finds you very much attractive. Of course the feeling wasn't mutual and you gave him...What was it you said Bones?"

"Oh..."She let out a chuckle. "I gave 'em hell." She couldn't help with being a bit pleased with herself as she thought about the good ones she let the man have.

"Right, unfortunately,your uniform was nearly torn off you in the process of 'giving him hell'. After a couple of rounds with the Podites who were really terrorists, we finally got back to the yet, excluding your fight with your terrorist friend, you managed to keep your temper under control. I'd say it's about time you blew off some steam."

"Ah, I-"

"Although, I might have prefered you not yelling at me." Kirk said with a smirk.

"Well...like i said earlier Jim. I am sorry."

"Well, I suppose we've both caused quite a bit of trouble today. If there's anything I can do, just ask." He opened her door and began to make his way out of her room, but he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Anything, Captain?" She said with a lopsided smile.

"Um...Maybe I should've stated that a little differently." She walked past her captain and closed the door.

"Perhaps you should have."

A while later back on the bridge, Commander Spock was holding conversation with the head of the Prodite government.

"And you say she is held in high regard by the rest of the medicinal scientists? Forgiveme if I find that hard to believe."

"While he methods and other poiints of her personality are unorthodox, I can say with certainty, that she is a most gifted physician. Perhaps even the most gifted doctor in her field."

"Why Mister Spock, I didn't know you thought so highly of me." Out of the turbolift,walked out a Dr. Bones McCoy wearing, not her regular blue unifrom, not the too-tight uniform she was wearing after coming back on board from the planet Poditor, but the captain's own uniform.

"I was only stating fact, Dr. McCoy."

"Of course you were Spock." She walked over to the Podite gentleman. "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you for your forgivness for the way I left you earlier. I'm afraid I let my anger get the best of me." She offered her hand to him.

"Well..."He looked at her and and..."I suppose in light of the circumstances..."He took her and and gave it good shake. "All is forgiven."

"Thank you. Now, the captain tells me that you were intersted in my notes of fevers similar to those of the Poditor Flune. Follow me to the sick bay." Before she could get into the elevator, Spock stopped her with a question.

"Will the captain be returning to the bridge?"

"Um...I'm not sure I'll have to go check. He'll be back soon Spock, don't you worry." She turned towards the Podite gentleman. "Shall we?" They both walked into the turbolift and the door slid closed. After the two left for sickbay,things ran smoothly in the bridge as usual. Well, except for the fact that Engineer Scott was staring blankly into space will distractedly. Sulu, being the unofficial matchmaker of the U.S.S. Enterprise, noticed immediately Scott's lingering on during both of her trips to the bridge.

"Well," Sulu said to no one in particular. "Her uniform was nice...don't you think Scotty?"

"Aye..."He sighed. "It is indeed a well fitting uniform..." To those who knew of the Scott's infractuation with the doctor found the comment amusing. And to those who knew of the Captain's plan of switching out her usual uniform with one that would definealty draw Scotty's attention. And even though Kirk, currently sitting in McCoy's room, was wearing nothin but his boxers... He couldn't help but be pleased with him self and the fact that the 'Well-Fitting' uniform worked...Now he just had to figure out how to get out of her room without anyone seeing the gag Bermuda shorts Bones had give him for his last birthday...

"Touche, Bones...Touche." Kirk then rushed out of her room and down the hall hoping that no one notices the giant Star Fleet ensign on his rear end.

R&R! Let me know if you like! Comment on what you think I should fix. AND PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I RAMBLE! Thanks!


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